Some Basics…

What Is neurodivergence?

The term neurodivergent is a label used to describe a minority population who experience the world differently due to having a nervous system that processes information in a unique way. Many neurodivergent traits contribute to difficulty in a person’s ability to engage in certain areas of life such as: social activities, communication with others, daily chores, or activities of daily living. There are many DSM-5 diagnoses that fall under the neurodivergent umbrella, thought there are some differing opinions as to which ones, and a person can be neurodivergent without having one of these specific diagnoses. Some of these are autism, ADHD, OCD, BPD, sensory processing disorders, dyslexia, and traumatic brain injury. Some other terms that are not in the DSM-5 but are often referenced when we talk about neurodivergence is HSP (highly sensitive person) or cptsd (complex post traumatic stress disorder).

What does it mean to be neurodivergent?

Neurodivergent people require varying levels of supports that can change over the lifespan, such as: alterations to environment to suit specific needs, options for different types of socialization, assistance with learning, reading, organizing, cleaning, or daily chores, and a non-ableist emotional support system. Some neurodivergent humans may not need as many supports, or may not identify themselves as disabled, but it does not mean that they are neurotypical.

What is “Masking” or “Camouflaging”?

Many neurodivergent folks have developed very effective compensation abilities so the challenges they are having may seem less obvious or even invisible to most people. This does not mean they are “less neurodivergent” than other nd folks, and using compensation strategies to “seem normal” or to “fit in” puts strain on the nervous system and often over time creates a diffuse sense of self, rejection sensitivity, and fatigue.

The use of language and labels

Some of us use labels like ADHD or autism, some use more general labels like neurodivergent, or ones they’ve invented themselves like neurofancy, neuroqueer, or neurofiesty. Some prefer to not label their experience at all. It is important to allow neurodivergent people to find their own way of describing their experience. Some people prefer person first language (person with autism), while many prefer disability first language (autistic person). I typically use disability first since that is preferred by the majority of people, but it is important to always be open to using whichever language the person in question uses to describe themselves and their experience.

Diagnosis is a separate concept of labeling specific sets of neurodivergent traits within a “functioning and impairment” paradigm. The use of functioning language is offensive to a lot of neurodivergent folks, and is rooted in ableist ideology. Still, you will often come across folks still using functioning language to describe their identity and experience (ie level 1 autistic, high functioning, or aspergers). Some people need to obtain a specific diagnosis to get the medications, accommodations, or services they need for life, school, or work. These systems are often the most stigmatizing and challenging to navigate, so some people choose not to engage in assessments at all.

How can I learn more? What type of media should I follow or avoid?

Neurodivergence has become a very hot topic on social media over the years, and I can definitely say a lot of it is unhelpful or misleading. I do see that many more mainstream or neurotypical people are finding that they identify with one or more neurodivergent traits, which can lead to normalization of these traits as “we are all a little…” The problem with this is that it most often erases the actual lived experience of folks who have grown up feeling isolated, alienated, and with a sense of pervasive otherness consistent with most versions of neurodivergence. To say “everyone experiences this, that, or the other thing” is extremely invalidating to someone who grew up experiencing rejection for being the way they are.

I also see a lot of information presented as “I am an ADHDer and therefore can’t do x y or z” and the discussion stops there. I see very little about how to learn and discover more about how our nervous system works and what it needs for us to feel like our best selves. The goal that most of us have in therapy is how to avoid the burnout that can cause worsening of challenges, or ways to find emotional support to cope with the challenges that remain unmovable.

This does not mean you should stop seeking out your own information, but I do recommend searching within vetted communities if the goal is to develop clarity and to actually FEEL OKAY. I’ve compiled a list of resources for you to do your own reading about these topics, you’ll find it on my library page.

My Work With Neurodivergent Humans

I am a late identified AuDHD therapist, and I specialize in working with teens and adults who are high masking, or have atypical presentations of autism. Having a nervous system that is different than the neuromajority creates significant difficulty and growing up with these traits unrecognized can cause an additional layer of challenges. To name a few: we may feel that our reality is faulty, that we don’t fit in anywhere, or that there is something fundamentally wrong with us. We have often been victims of abuse, or struggled with depression, anxiety, and extreme self medication. The complexities of late in life diagnosis are endless, but also manageable. While my own personal history with this journey is different from the experiences of every other person, my own story has provided me with an enhanced perspective that I find to be essential in guiding folks through their own journey of discovery and growth.

Neurotype is an important part of understanding our identities as humans, and I greatly enjoy supporting and validating people’s lived experiences through the exploration process. If you already have diagnosis, are self identified, or are just realizing you have a few neurodivergent traits and are wondering what that could mean for you, I am happy to explore your unique strengths and challenges and find ways to make life more manageable and more comfortable. Together we will navigate the process of discovering yourself and what you need to feel strong and confident in your life. Coming to understand ourselves in a new way can unravel many complicated emotions such as relief, disbelief, grief. Processing some of these emotions can help us come to full acceptance of who we are today, and can reveal what we actually need to feel okay in our bodies, in relationships, and in our lives.